20 tyrannosauruses on 20 mountaintops
Sunday, February 12, 2006
A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
-Thomas Mann
¶ 4:03 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 02, 2006
hard and soft
As the airplane glided onto the velvet runway, Harry slid his hand up Zelda's milky thigh.
"Oh Harry, you move me," uttered Zelda, "you move me, hard."
At this, Harry exploded with raw sex.
"Zelda, you move me harder," he said.
"I'll be right there"
Eric's door was knocking. He was sure there was someone there, but at the time he only thought of the door and the knocking. He had been writing all morning, and was deeply satisfied with his progress. Harry had evaded the police yet again and managed to board a plane and woo a stewardess named Zelda. This would make the fourth tryst Eric had written of in 7 pages. Everything was going as planned.
Eric stopped at the full length mirror just before opening the door. He was still not sure whether he liked having a mirror there. At this point, it was perfect. He swatted the hair out of his eyes and pulled the strands behing his ears. He was hoping to grow his hair to his tailbone.
"Just a second."
Geez. That's what he said as he pushed his chin high and opened his mouth repeatedly, moving his head right-to-left, right-to-left. He was expecting his ex-girlfriend, Mollie. Not that she had told him she would come over that day, but that he was always expecting her, for the past 3 years. He stood smiling before the mirror, opening his mouth occasionally, and finally pulling down his blue plaid pajama pants. He smiled out of the side of his mouth and nodded just before pulling them up and opening the door.
"Hello," he said, very casually.
"Hi. Is this Harry?"
This stumped him. He hadn't told anyone about the story. He had only started yesterday, in fact. Or the day before. Well, nevertheless, he had not told anyone about this story. He was sure.
"Hmm. No this is Eric, I'm Eric."
"Sure you are, can I come in?"
"I guess, but I don't know you, and I'm Eric, not Harry."
"The name's Zelda, and I've come to have sex with you, just kidding. My name's Eric."
She burst out laughing. He let out a solitary laugh and stared at her, she walked through the door, he kept staring. She was about 7 feet tall. Well you know, tall. She had blond highlights in her bobbed hair. Her attire was boring, navy blue motif, looking half like a stewardess. Eric was baffled. When was the last time I slept, he thought. Is this happening? Could I be hallucinating?
He was sure he was imagining this. He hadn't slept in over 40 hours, and knew that things like this happened to him if he skirted sleep. The skateboard he had encountered 10 years ago on his trip to Spain was one such incident. He was actually walking to WaWa, and it was his friend Brian. But the memory he has is that he was on a plane, standing in the aisle, talking to a skateboard about Turkey Hill Iced Tea.
"So, Zelda, how long have you been a stewardess and when are we going to have sex?"
"For a long time and soon."
"Wonderful, looking forward to it."
"Me too, this is the perfect thing."
"Yes, it is. It's perfect actually."
They smiled at each other, kept smiling. Eric and the couch. In Eric's head the couch was not empty. There was a 7 foot tall stewardess with blond highlights in her bobbed hair.
"Sleeping when you go to this?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Sleeping when you go to this"
"That's nonsense."
"Precisely."
"Time for sex?"
She motioned to the bedroom. He said, you first, she said, after you, he said thank you Zelda you are a gentlewoman. She laughed. Eric opened the door to his room. My bed looks so good, he said. I mean it's been along time.
"I know, darling."
Eric placed his hands on the bed, laid his head down and smelled the pillow. It smelled like Mollie. Which smelled like Pantene, which is what he started using when she left him and he started sleeping on her side of the bed. He breathed in the pillow, trying to become part of it and the memory of her. His hands relaxed and his right shoulder fell into the bed, while his legs dangled over the side, one still touching the floor. In his dream he saw Mollie, in fast motion leaving him, the door closing, the door opening, he saw Zelda, he saw the cabin of a plane, and his computer. He felt his legs being lifted onto the bed, his covers covering him, the presence of a woman behind him, holding him. He later, much later, awoke to find the bed empty, but this feeling of presence was different than his dream. It felt undeniably real.
Eric believed it was Mollie and it gave him hope. Mollie was the only beautfiul woman Eric had ever dated, or as he liked to say, to paint the most dramatically depressing picture, 'the only beautiful woman I've ever known'. She had grace and character, a beautiful, voluptuous body and real depth. Hair:shiny brunette. Eyes:kelly green. Eric was never sure she loved him, but was all too sure about his love for her. It was, which is why it lasted only a few months, bordering on obsession. Which is not the same as love. It is the same as envy and greed maybe, but not love. There were times he wanted to enter her body. And not at the hip, he wanted to truly get inside her. The same way you enter a room. There were other times when he wanted to smash her head in. Start hitting her and never stop. If she had even caught the faintest glimpse of this she would have never moved in. She did eventually see this obsession, it scared the hell out of her and she was gone.
Eric woke up thinking of Zelda, who he thought was Mollie. He felt tired, so tired he half-considered going back to sleep, but got out of bed instead. He went to the computer.
"Oh Harry, I should have never left you, you're hair is like a horse's butt."
"I'd like to see your butt," Harry whispered as he moved his hand up the back of Zelda's shirt and slid his hand down her skirt to her hot ass.
"Harry, I should have never left you. I'll come back to live with you. We can start a family. Just do me first. Hard and soft." Zelda let out a soft murmur. Harry cried. He hated Zelda, he hated her for leaving him he wanted her to die she should die. He kissed her and spit at her he loved her and did her hard and soft.
"Oh Harry I am such a slut and whore for leaving you," cried the bitch.
Whydid you leave me, whydidyou leave me why didyouleave me whydid you leavememe
¶ 4:36 PM 0 comments
"Oh Harry, you move me," uttered Zelda, "you move me, hard."
At this, Harry exploded with raw sex.
"Zelda, you move me harder," he said.
"I'll be right there"
Eric's door was knocking. He was sure there was someone there, but at the time he only thought of the door and the knocking. He had been writing all morning, and was deeply satisfied with his progress. Harry had evaded the police yet again and managed to board a plane and woo a stewardess named Zelda. This would make the fourth tryst Eric had written of in 7 pages. Everything was going as planned.
Eric stopped at the full length mirror just before opening the door. He was still not sure whether he liked having a mirror there. At this point, it was perfect. He swatted the hair out of his eyes and pulled the strands behing his ears. He was hoping to grow his hair to his tailbone.
"Just a second."
Geez. That's what he said as he pushed his chin high and opened his mouth repeatedly, moving his head right-to-left, right-to-left. He was expecting his ex-girlfriend, Mollie. Not that she had told him she would come over that day, but that he was always expecting her, for the past 3 years. He stood smiling before the mirror, opening his mouth occasionally, and finally pulling down his blue plaid pajama pants. He smiled out of the side of his mouth and nodded just before pulling them up and opening the door.
"Hello," he said, very casually.
"Hi. Is this Harry?"
This stumped him. He hadn't told anyone about the story. He had only started yesterday, in fact. Or the day before. Well, nevertheless, he had not told anyone about this story. He was sure.
"Hmm. No this is Eric, I'm Eric."
"Sure you are, can I come in?"
"I guess, but I don't know you, and I'm Eric, not Harry."
"The name's Zelda, and I've come to have sex with you, just kidding. My name's Eric."
She burst out laughing. He let out a solitary laugh and stared at her, she walked through the door, he kept staring. She was about 7 feet tall. Well you know, tall. She had blond highlights in her bobbed hair. Her attire was boring, navy blue motif, looking half like a stewardess. Eric was baffled. When was the last time I slept, he thought. Is this happening? Could I be hallucinating?
He was sure he was imagining this. He hadn't slept in over 40 hours, and knew that things like this happened to him if he skirted sleep. The skateboard he had encountered 10 years ago on his trip to Spain was one such incident. He was actually walking to WaWa, and it was his friend Brian. But the memory he has is that he was on a plane, standing in the aisle, talking to a skateboard about Turkey Hill Iced Tea.
"So, Zelda, how long have you been a stewardess and when are we going to have sex?"
"For a long time and soon."
"Wonderful, looking forward to it."
"Me too, this is the perfect thing."
"Yes, it is. It's perfect actually."
They smiled at each other, kept smiling. Eric and the couch. In Eric's head the couch was not empty. There was a 7 foot tall stewardess with blond highlights in her bobbed hair.
"Sleeping when you go to this?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Sleeping when you go to this"
"That's nonsense."
"Precisely."
"Time for sex?"
She motioned to the bedroom. He said, you first, she said, after you, he said thank you Zelda you are a gentlewoman. She laughed. Eric opened the door to his room. My bed looks so good, he said. I mean it's been along time.
"I know, darling."
Eric placed his hands on the bed, laid his head down and smelled the pillow. It smelled like Mollie. Which smelled like Pantene, which is what he started using when she left him and he started sleeping on her side of the bed. He breathed in the pillow, trying to become part of it and the memory of her. His hands relaxed and his right shoulder fell into the bed, while his legs dangled over the side, one still touching the floor. In his dream he saw Mollie, in fast motion leaving him, the door closing, the door opening, he saw Zelda, he saw the cabin of a plane, and his computer. He felt his legs being lifted onto the bed, his covers covering him, the presence of a woman behind him, holding him. He later, much later, awoke to find the bed empty, but this feeling of presence was different than his dream. It felt undeniably real.
Eric believed it was Mollie and it gave him hope. Mollie was the only beautfiul woman Eric had ever dated, or as he liked to say, to paint the most dramatically depressing picture, 'the only beautiful woman I've ever known'. She had grace and character, a beautiful, voluptuous body and real depth. Hair:shiny brunette. Eyes:kelly green. Eric was never sure she loved him, but was all too sure about his love for her. It was, which is why it lasted only a few months, bordering on obsession. Which is not the same as love. It is the same as envy and greed maybe, but not love. There were times he wanted to enter her body. And not at the hip, he wanted to truly get inside her. The same way you enter a room. There were other times when he wanted to smash her head in. Start hitting her and never stop. If she had even caught the faintest glimpse of this she would have never moved in. She did eventually see this obsession, it scared the hell out of her and she was gone.
Eric woke up thinking of Zelda, who he thought was Mollie. He felt tired, so tired he half-considered going back to sleep, but got out of bed instead. He went to the computer.
"Oh Harry, I should have never left you, you're hair is like a horse's butt."
"I'd like to see your butt," Harry whispered as he moved his hand up the back of Zelda's shirt and slid his hand down her skirt to her hot ass.
"Harry, I should have never left you. I'll come back to live with you. We can start a family. Just do me first. Hard and soft." Zelda let out a soft murmur. Harry cried. He hated Zelda, he hated her for leaving him he wanted her to die she should die. He kissed her and spit at her he loved her and did her hard and soft.
"Oh Harry I am such a slut and whore for leaving you," cried the bitch.
Whydid you leave me, whydidyou leave me why didyouleave me whydid you leavememe
¶ 4:36 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
"I don't like it, that's all I'm trying to say"
"Well that's funny - you fuh-nee per-sun"
"I can't talk to you when you get like this"
"Like this? You like this?"
"Jesus Christ"
This had been going on for fifteen minutes now. If I were an exagerrator I would say an hour, but I'm not. Well I might be because for all I know it was 13 minutes and some seconds; it's not like I time these things.
"Everyone on this bus is listening to you be an asshole. Why are you an asshole?"
"Why are you what? Why-why? This is great"
"Please stop, just don't...stop, ok? Ok?"
"Ok"
"Really?"
"uh"
She held out that word, rather sound, for a good bit. And a good bit is flexible. You can't exaggerate that. I had got on the bus back at Wightman and now the bus was going over the quick bridge to Craig, my stop. And that guy and girl were getting off as well. I considered staying on until the next stop just to get ahead of them, but I was the one who pulled the wire and made the light go on. And everyone knew it. I hated how they all looked at me. It was unnecessary. I don't want to exaggerate how much I hated it though, so I won't. But with the two of them I could simply listen to them and they didn't ever seem to notice. There was something to their banter that intrigued me. Enough to stand up and head towards the front of the bus.
I didn't get these two. The one who seemed rational was the guy. He looked college. She looked art. He was clearly pharmacy school, maybe engineering. She was probably undecided. Like me. As soon as we got off of the bus the banter continued, so I stayed close to listen.
"Let's get hot coffee and drink it raw"
"Or we could just get coffee. Why do you have to act so weird?"
"Let's fall asleep in coffee time"
She said everything with a smirk and a upward nod. This asshole grin, where she looked expectant and her eyes seems excited. She was loving this, and, I guess, I was too.
"Ok, but if I am going to get coffee then you need to stay out here. I can't deal with you today"
"Shut up faggot slacks. Coffee is gay like you. And I don't think I want it anymore, so go ahead, don't listen to me just walk in and gay yourself..."
He had gone in to Starbucks at the word 'slacks' and at the words 'and gay' she had turned her attention to me.
"Hi"
"Hi"
I felt unbearably awkward about this. I mean, really, I was hot all over. I noticed she was wearing a grey plaid skirt, which I noticed before but didn't really notice. And I noticed something else: she might be younger than I thought, maybe highschool age.
"What's your name?"
"Alan"
"What do you do Alan? Listen to siblings fight on buses and take mental notes?"
"Oh, that explains it"
I said this to myself but not as quiet as I intended.
"Explains what, Alan?"
He then came out and I turned towards Forbes Ave., away from her, but she didn't move.
"Ok, let's go. Stop staring, let's go"
"Hello? Explains what? You can't just stare and listen and fuck and just stand there looking at nothing. Hey? Why did you say that?"
I kept staring across Forbes with my eyes agape and eyebrows raised and lips pursed.
"I'm sorry, what are you doing just...stop this, ok? Don't bother people, let's go, I have a class in 15 minutes and I've got to walk you two blocks..."
Her eyes finally turned off of me and onto her brother.
"I can walk myself you jerk stash"
"Lovely. Sorry, I'm sorry"
She turned the corner and her brother followed. And I did something unexpected, something I still can't explain.
"FUCKSHITCOCKMOTHERFUCKSHIT...SHITHEAD!"
I actually yelled this. Why would I do that? And, of course, everyone looked at me. It felt like cars and buses stopped, but I may be exaggerating that. ¶ 3:38 PM 1 comments
"Well that's funny - you fuh-nee per-sun"
"I can't talk to you when you get like this"
"Like this? You like this?"
"Jesus Christ"
This had been going on for fifteen minutes now. If I were an exagerrator I would say an hour, but I'm not. Well I might be because for all I know it was 13 minutes and some seconds; it's not like I time these things.
"Everyone on this bus is listening to you be an asshole. Why are you an asshole?"
"Why are you what? Why-why? This is great"
"Please stop, just don't...stop, ok? Ok?"
"Ok"
"Really?"
"uh"
She held out that word, rather sound, for a good bit. And a good bit is flexible. You can't exaggerate that. I had got on the bus back at Wightman and now the bus was going over the quick bridge to Craig, my stop. And that guy and girl were getting off as well. I considered staying on until the next stop just to get ahead of them, but I was the one who pulled the wire and made the light go on. And everyone knew it. I hated how they all looked at me. It was unnecessary. I don't want to exaggerate how much I hated it though, so I won't. But with the two of them I could simply listen to them and they didn't ever seem to notice. There was something to their banter that intrigued me. Enough to stand up and head towards the front of the bus.
I didn't get these two. The one who seemed rational was the guy. He looked college. She looked art. He was clearly pharmacy school, maybe engineering. She was probably undecided. Like me. As soon as we got off of the bus the banter continued, so I stayed close to listen.
"Let's get hot coffee and drink it raw"
"Or we could just get coffee. Why do you have to act so weird?"
"Let's fall asleep in coffee time"
She said everything with a smirk and a upward nod. This asshole grin, where she looked expectant and her eyes seems excited. She was loving this, and, I guess, I was too.
"Ok, but if I am going to get coffee then you need to stay out here. I can't deal with you today"
"Shut up faggot slacks. Coffee is gay like you. And I don't think I want it anymore, so go ahead, don't listen to me just walk in and gay yourself..."
He had gone in to Starbucks at the word 'slacks' and at the words 'and gay' she had turned her attention to me.
"Hi"
"Hi"
I felt unbearably awkward about this. I mean, really, I was hot all over. I noticed she was wearing a grey plaid skirt, which I noticed before but didn't really notice. And I noticed something else: she might be younger than I thought, maybe highschool age.
"What's your name?"
"Alan"
"What do you do Alan? Listen to siblings fight on buses and take mental notes?"
"Oh, that explains it"
I said this to myself but not as quiet as I intended.
"Explains what, Alan?"
He then came out and I turned towards Forbes Ave., away from her, but she didn't move.
"Ok, let's go. Stop staring, let's go"
"Hello? Explains what? You can't just stare and listen and fuck and just stand there looking at nothing. Hey? Why did you say that?"
I kept staring across Forbes with my eyes agape and eyebrows raised and lips pursed.
"I'm sorry, what are you doing just...stop this, ok? Don't bother people, let's go, I have a class in 15 minutes and I've got to walk you two blocks..."
Her eyes finally turned off of me and onto her brother.
"I can walk myself you jerk stash"
"Lovely. Sorry, I'm sorry"
She turned the corner and her brother followed. And I did something unexpected, something I still can't explain.
"FUCKSHITCOCKMOTHERFUCKSHIT...SHITHEAD!"
I actually yelled this. Why would I do that? And, of course, everyone looked at me. It felt like cars and buses stopped, but I may be exaggerating that. ¶ 3:38 PM 1 comments
